Too late? Nah
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This is an unplanned write-up. I just wish to share what the year has been like for me.
Ok truth is, I have never been the type to end a year in a grand way (relationship-wise) by doing appreciation posts, mentioning names of people that had an impact in my life that year and the like. I equally am not loud about things I will be stopping or people I will be cutting off. I notice many people do that “this new year, I’m cutting off toxic friendships” bla bla bla. My dear me sef, I want to cut my own self off... scratch that.
Apparently, the year 2020 was a tough one for everyone globally. Mehn!!!! The first painful thing for me was Kobe and Gigi Bryant’s death, alongside everyone on the craft with them. I wept! I wept like I had a personal relationship with them. I am still not over Kobe’s death. I loved that man. Then I lost a very dear friend in February. There were several deaths here and there. Chadwick Boseman’s death shook the world too and it reminded me of my mum’s demise.
Then it hit home! My brother passed on the 4th of September, 2020. How worse could the year have gotten? Sombori tell me. 🤷🏾♀️
The pandemic, the police brutality etcccc.
I am not here to talk about death, I still don’t know where I’m driving at; I feel like I know, but I don’t know. Death was not the only sad thing about the year. It was a tough one. I thought I would lose mind. Heck yeah! I lost my mind. I experienced a mental breakdown. I did all sorts. At the time, it seemed like nothing could help. People, meds, therapy, activities, nothing! I was offered jobs that I declined. There was one particular one that was a huge role that I was offered. Brethren, I said I was OFFERED! But I declined it, even though I was broke. I was emotionally overwhelmed and drained, and I couldn’t even help myself or allow people help me. I thought I did the right thing (I still kinda sorta think so). I thought to myself “ok Dami, you are in this unstable phase right now. Will you allow your nonsense and ingredients affect this organization? Will you allow your current issues affect productivity” So I decided to decline. I wanted what was best for the organization and if it meant stepping aside at the time, then so be it! I was so angry and sad though. Everyone got tired of me. I got tired of me. I lost some relationships. Everything hurt so bad but I pulled through. I am thankful I did. I am thankful we all pulled through that year (those that did 😒).
At the end of the year, I actually found myself doing an appreciation post to family, friends etc. I even did a long post about my foundation, thanking God for the impact made, however little. I realized there is actually a lot to be grateful for. I think I should practice gratitude more often. Try that too. Be grateful for how you fought hard and got to where you are now. Give yourself a pat on the back for being strong. Then move on to greater things.
It is a new year now...ok not so new. I don’t even have my goals for the year written yet. Unserious? Maybe. But it’s not too late to do that. It’s not too late to do yourself some good. There’s so much greatness ahead. Here’s to an amazingly beautiful 2021! 🥂
Ok, I think I’m done. Let me sef read what I just wrote. Thanks for reading this with me. ❤️
You can drop your comments. I’ll appreciate that. 😘